My spouse cheated on me, can I sue for damages?

For most people, marriage means that the two spouses will not have sexual relations with any person except their spouse. Unfortunately, sometimes this right of exclusive sexual access is violated. When this occurs, there is a desire on the part of the innocent spouse to seek revenge against the third party who had sex with their spouse. Massachusetts law used to allow lawsuits for the harm to the marriage caused by the third party. The Common Law which was derived from old English law allowed lawsuits for “alienation of affection” and “criminal conversation.”

The tort of criminal conversation allowed the wronged spouse to sue the paramour for violation of the right of exclusive sexual access from the marriage. In other words, it was a lawsuit against the third party for sex with their spouse. The tort of alienation of affection was a lawsuit against the paramour for causing their spouse to stop having affections within the marriage. This usually resulted in a divorce as a result of the adultery. It was not uncommon for a lawsuit to allege both alienation of affection and criminal conversation.

In Massachusetts, when cheating occurs in a marriage, the wronged party can no longer sue for damages. Massachusetts General Laws Chapter 207, Section 47B prohibits lawsuits for both alienation of affection and criminal conversation. As a result, when cheating occurs in a marriage, the only recourse through the courts is an action for divorce against the spouse.

Cheating in a marriage can be devastating to the innocent spouse. Some couples manage to save their marriage after an affair. Others separate and end the marriage by divorce. When cheating occurs in a marriage, both spouses should consult an experienced family law attorney to determine their rights and understand divorce. Many people need to understand their rights in a divorce before deciding if they want to save their marriage.

Judges have to be careful about social media.

I have written about the dangers of social media and people who are in court in my blog.  Just as people who litigate in court must be careful about the use of social media, so do judges and lawyers.  The American Bar Association cautioned judges about this problem and now a Judge in Florida has been disqualified from a divorce case because of social media.

In the Florida case, a judge presiding over a divorce sent a "friend request" to the wife in the divorce before rendering a judgment.  This put the wife in a very difficult position.  If she rejected the request would the Judge retaliate in the Judgment?  If she accepted the request would that consitute improper ex-parte communications with the judge?  Could the husband attack the judgment because of the new relationship?

Judges are suppose to be impartial so that they can make a decision free of improper influences.  Connecting with someone in a non-professional manner on social media should be grounds for removing the judge from a case.  Judges should not friend lawyers or litigants unless they have a prior relationship with that person such that there is already a conflict of interest preventing the judge from hearing the case.  Lawyers must avoid the appearance of impropriety and should not ask Judges to friend them.  If a lawyer does have a social media relationship with a judge, they should reveal this to the other side as soon as possible.

To the extent possible, it is not a bad idea for a litigant to look at the social media identities of the opposing lawyer and the judge assigned to the case.  If some contact is found that raises questions, an experienced lawyer should be consulted to ask about any possible concerns as a result.  

Bring proposed solutions to court

Courts deal with problems.  Every case is brought because the parties have a problem that can't be solved without the assistance of a Judge.  The parties should think about ways to solve the problems and propose these solutions to the Court.  While most criminal cases involve punishment, most civil cases look to ways to solve problems and not punish.  If you are suing for money, know how much money you want.  If you are suing for custody or visitation, be prepared to explain where a child will sleep, eat, and go  to school.  Be prepared with a visitation plan for the other parent.  Judges are more likely to give you what you want if you are able to tell the judge what you desire.

An experienced family law attorney can help you prepare solutions to present to a judge.